Love—one of the most complex and celebrated emotions—has puzzled and inspired humanity for centuries. But did you know that the ancient Greeks broke love down into seven distinct types? 

Unlike our modern, umbrella term for love, they believed different relationships and feelings deserved unique categorizations. Understanding these can help you redefine your relationships, whether romantic, platonic, or even self-directed.

By exploring these seven types of love, you’ll gain valuable insight into how you give and receive affection in your life. Let’s take a deep dive into the wisdom of the Greeks and uncover their definitions of love.

1. Eros (Romantic and Passionate Love)

Derived from the name of the Greek god of love and desire, Eros represents the fiery and passionate form of love. This type of love is driven by romantic attraction, physical desire, and the intimate connection felt towards a partner.

Think of this as the kind of butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling that sparks at the start of a relationship. It is intense, exciting, and can often feel overwhelming. 

However, the Greeks also regarded Eros as risky, as its intensity can lead to impulsive decisions or discomfort if not tempered.

How Eros Might Show Up:

  • The electric feeling of a first kiss.
  • The deep infatuation experienced during the honeymoon phase of a relationship.

Tip: While Eros is powerful and thrilling, it should be balanced with trust and communication to develop into a healthy, long-lasting bond.

2. Philia (Friendship and Affectionate Love)

Philia is the love shared between friends. It’s rooted in mutual respect, shared experiences, and deep connection without the complexity of romance or physical attraction. 

The Greeks regarded Philia as one of the purest and most profound forms of love, emphasizing loyalty and gratitude.

Aristotle famously considered Philia a vital component of a happy life. Friendships are built on honesty and closeness, and Philia is a love that energizes our bonds with those we trust.

How Philia Might Show Up:

  • The warmth you feel after a heartfelt conversation with a close friend.
  • Lending a helping hand without expecting anything in return.

Tip: Nurture your friendships by regularly checking in, celebrating your friends’ achievements, and sharing in their hardships.

3. Storge (Familial Love)

Storge refers to the natural affection shared within families, particularly between parents and children. It is a love built on familiarity, safety, and an innate bond. While Storge is unconditional, it also grows through shared experiences and emotional support within a family structure.

This type of love is vital as it forms the foundation of trust and security for many people from a young age.

How Storge Might Show Up:

  • The comforting hug from your parents after a hard day.
  • The sense of loyalty and pride you feel towards your siblings.

Tip: Strengthen familial bonds by spending quality time together and resolving conflicts with empathy and open communication.

4. Ludus (Playful Love)

Ludus is all about having fun and enjoying lighthearted connection. This love is often seen in the early stages of romance, where flirtation, teasing, and laughter dominate. Ludus can also be present in friendships where humor and joy create a strong bond.

It’s the less serious side of love, focused more on playfulness and spontaneity than long-term commitment. The Greeks praised Ludus as an element that keeps relationships fresh and exciting.

How Ludus Might Show Up:

  • A playful text to someone you’re dating that makes them smile.
  • Giggling and joking around with your best friend.

Tip: Incorporate Ludus into both friendships and romantic relationships to keep the spark and vitality alive.

5. Agape (Selfless and Unconditional Love)

Agape represents the highest form of love—selfless, unconditional, and universal. It’s the love that transcends individual relationships and extends to humanity or even the world at large. Agape requires compassion, empathy, and care without expecting anything in return.

The Greeks admired Agape as the purest expression of love, often associating it with spiritual connections or altruism. It challenges us to love in ways that go beyond ourselves.

How Agape Might Show Up:

  • Volunteering your time to help those in need.
  • A small act of kindness, like helping a stranger without expecting recognition.

Tip: Practicing gratitude and mindfulness can help you cultivate Agape in your life.

6. Pragma (Enduring Love)

Pragma is the practical and mature form of love that develops over time. It’s grounded in commitment, understanding, and shared goals. The Greeks believed Pragma was one of the most essential types of love for long-term relationships, such as marriage.

Unlike the wild passion of Eros, Pragma is slow-burning yet steady. It’s the love that is built on mutual respect and effort, creating a reliable, lasting connection.

How Pragma Might Show Up:

  • Celebrating decades of partnership with your spouse.
  • Supporting your partner’s ambitions while pursuing shared goals.

Tip: Pragma requires communication and patience. Celebrate the small, everyday moments that keep partnerships strong.

7. Philautia (Self-Love)

Last but not least, Philautia is the love directed inward—self-love. The Greeks believed that in order to love others fully, you must first cultivate love and respect for yourself. However, they also acknowledged the need for balance, distinguishing healthy self-love from narcissism.

Healthy Philautia creates confidence and inner peace, allowing you to approach relationships and challenges with a positive outlook.

How Philautia Might Show Up:

  • Taking time to prioritize your mental and physical well-being.
  • Celebrating personal achievements and progress.

Tip: Practice self-care consistently, whether through meditation, exercise, or treating yourself kindly in moments of doubt.

Reflecting on the Greek Wisdom

By understanding the seven types of love, you can gain clarity on your relationships and what fuels them. Each form of love plays a unique role in our lives, and recognizing them can help us build healthier, more fulfilling connections with others and ourselves.

Now that you’ve explored the wonders of the Greek definitions of love, which type resonates most with you?